Thinkbubble

It’s really quite strange, I am an extrovert and so I normally get my energy from other people. There are times of course when I need some time to myself, but at the moment I am finding I need a whole lot of time to myself.

I think it is because I have got so much racing around in my head. Normally I would talk it through with someone and then I feel much better. The thoughts subside a little and tranquillity comes back into my head (well as tranquil as a constantly thinking mind does). I can’t seem to do that right now. It’s like everything is mounting up. I feel kind of trapped in my own head, normally I can talk it out of my head, but it’s not working. So I feel kind of lost, I don’t know how to get rid, or sort out the stuff in my head.

I have been spending a lot of times in the evenings, reading the Bible, listening to music, playing my guitar (I am just learning) and also recently learning how to mediate.

Yesterday I lay on the floor, and tensed each of my Muscles from my feet up to my head, and then released them, one by one. It’s amazing you don’t realise just how tense you are until you do this exercise. I have also been meditating on verses in the bible, I was reading Psalms the other night and I mediated on these verses:

Psalm 37:7

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
       do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
       when they carry out their wicked schemes.

God was teaching me to learn to trust him completely, give him everything, not to be shaken by things that might come my way to knock me, but to hold onto him and not fear.

This is amazing that the God will provide us with so much, it is so hard to do though. It seems like the closer I am becoming to God the harder some things are. I am finding I am much more self aware, of things I do, say and what others do and say, and I am thinking about it all the time.

I think I just need to learn a new way to deal with things, or to not let it all get on top of me, and to get my mind to just stop! I wish I knew how.

Maybe some good Sci-Fi will do the trick, which is the only thing I can truly switch off to.