Sometimes I think it would be nice to be someone who just floats through life, never worrying, not over analysing, perfectly confident…
I am not like this, not one bit. I always over think, I question everything, often think negatively, not about others but about myself (although I am learning not to), I seem to learn the most through the difficult things in life. I am not sure why this is, but CS Lewis wrote in the problems with pain, that ‘God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain’. I would just like to be more hopeful that God will bless me through nice things as well. It would just be nice not to have to fight everything, within myslef and the world. Life is often a battle, it has been for me for as long as i can remember.
I started to think, that this is not the way that God made me and I have tried to re learn who I am in God. However I have a feeling, that this is just the way I am, complicated and intense, I quite like being like this, its just hard work!!!
