At the moment I am going through quite a lot of doubting. Mainly about my job situation, I have been offered a job as a LA, but I am not sure yet what the salary will be, and I have a feeling that I am not going to be able to afford to live of it.
I really want to do a job that is fulfilling, and I know that teaching would be, but I am no longer sure that this job has come at the right time. I am really enjoying my job at the uni now, because I am now working with a team of people and I am based in the centre of town, which I love. There are opportunities here, and OK so its admin, but after a year of trying to get some security, I have almost found it in this job, I don’t want to risk it all.
If I thought this was just fear, I would tell myself to take the job anyway, but it doesnt feel like fear, it feels like it just isnt right just now. I am normally good at making big decisions, but on this occassion i am not. I need to find out a few more facts, like the salary of the LA post and also what opportunities they are at the uni.
I just feel frustrated and also run down because of it. I am stuck between two paths and the uncertainty is just subconsciously weighing me down. I don’t feel stressed, because I am a generally upbeat, and don’t let things get to me. However I do feel pressured and it is affecting me.
I just want to figure out what is the best thing to do, make the decision and go for it, I just dont want to make the wrong decision.
I had my interview for the learning assistant job on Monday. It was such a good experience. What really warmed my heart, was a little boy who said hello to me when I was walking past the school before my interview. I said hello and he asked if I could find his ball, I said I would have a look, I couldn’t find it, he said that’s Ok and gave me a great big smile. I spoke to the teacher supervising the kids, she said they have found his ball, but he keeps losing it, I smiled and asked which entrance I needed to use for the interview. She told me and wished me luck.
This might not sound very significant, but it felt it to me:) That little boy made me smile and reminded me once again just how much I love working with children. Because of this I also went into the interview with a smile.
I think it is so important to find what you are good at, or in Christian terms your gift, the gift that God has given you. I think mine is with children. I think it could also with people in general, but I relate so well with children. I enjoy their company and they seem to enjoy mine.
When I was at school, I had some really great teachers and some really bad ones. Teachers can impact you so much, especially when you are a child because you are more vulnerable. I know that the bad teachers in my childhood affected my confidence greatly. I realised the other week that there are still soul-ties (soul-ties I will write about this soon) between me and these teachers, strings that are still pulling at me, saying yeah but you are not good enough and you will never make that grade. I was advised that I needed to forgive them, and ask for forgiveness myself for still believing them at times. I confessed my sin and asked God to forgive me and them.
God loves us, he created us, when we knock ourselves we are sinning against God. It is like we are saying I know better than you God. I am really working hard on this, not allowing myself to put myself down and not allowing others to do so either.
Sorry that was a bit of a side track, I was talking about teaching. To get back to the point, I think it is so important that we discover who we are, who God made us to be and live out his purpose for our lives, for others benefit, so that we become closer to God and most importantly for his Glory.
I wonder why it is that so many people go into teaching that are clearly not right for it and can do so much damage to children. I really want to be a part of teaching, to make a positive difference, to encourage them, teach them and help them in their learning.
Filed under: Teaching
Great news I have a job interview for a learning assisant post next Monday:)
I am really pleased about this, I would really like to get some experience of working in the classroom, so i’ll see what happens.
For about two months now I have been thinking about going into teaching at primary school. To give you some background, I have been temping in admin for the past 9 months, here is me thinking huh I really like doing admin. Well I have found out that I don’t! the reason I enjoyed doing admin is because of the people I was working with and now that I am stuck in an office by myself, I really miss the interaction.
Also, I have volunteered to help out with Sunday school at my local Church, well they nearly snapped my arm off. Its great though, I used to help out in Sunday School years ago and really enjoyed it.
I love working with children, I just forgot how much. So I am applying to do some learning assistant jobs, which as it turns out pays better than temping in admin, ha. And I will apply to do a PGDE next year. I think it is wise to get some work experience first, before I get back into debt and live the life of a skint student again, mind you I am not exactly flush doing admin.
Ill keep you posted on the progress! But I am really excited about doing something I really love again.
